7TV: Red Storm Rising

Given how delightful today's weather has been, any chance of nipping outside to undercoat recently acquired miniatures was kiboshed.  This lost opportunity instead became a chance for me to work on slapping some more paint on villainous forces for 7TV.

Whilst the Fifth Reich (“Das vierte Reich nie bearbeitet.  Ich ziehe an um!” ) had been written up as opponents for the Man From F.R.A.N.C.E., the lead pile doesn't actually contain any of its denizens.  Instead- for various reasons- attention has turned to the Communist antagonists to be found within the 7TV canon, primarily the Iron Ceiling.  These chaps click with me for some reason! 

So from left (naturally) to right, and in various states of completion: The Iron Ceiling and sneaking in from Siberia, the remnants of the Menagerie.  Overseeing this is a lovely statue of Stalin.  At least, it's thought to be just a statue..

A close-up of the Sky-Pirates.  Basing and a matt varnish, and they're good to leap into action.

Travers on the left is at the same stage as the Sky Pirates.  The dozen security guards and two captains are catching up.

 

Cloud Commissar Rostov flanked by Cloud Captain Vodyanova on his right and bureaucratic buffoon Laszlo Minsky.  The figure used for Rostov isn't the one I initially was going to use.  However, when I popped open the pack, this chap struck me as a superior choice (he's so menacing he doesn't need to wave around a weapon, and he's somewhat more similar to Don PLeasant, the chap who played Rostov in 7TV's The Daredevils...).  I looked at various WWII and Cold War online images of Soviet uniforms, before mixing them all up.  These are nowhere near done, but Vodyanova's final look should reflect the inspiration for her colour scheme- the Night Witches! 

Ah, the backroom boffins (actually, what is the Soviet/Russian equivalent?  The UK has boffins, the USA has Geeks, so what do our Russian chums say?).  Hovering at the back are some of the Iron Ceiling's infiltrating Aero-Drones, with a whole bunch of Iron Comrades lined up in front of them.  Right at the back are some Matryoshka, which I won't need to elaborate on if you've seen the first Austin Powers film.  Honeytrap-tastic, and a darn sight more lethal.  Of course, all this clockwork kit doesn't mainatin itself, hence the toolkit-toting minion in the centre, and treacherous Dr Vostok's cabal of scientists in the foreground.  Lastly, to the left is a minion who has got what appears to be a portable barbecue kit on his back (clearly an optimist, given the 'summer' weather the UK's had recently...).

Lastly (and sneaking in from one of the Crooked Dice pdf-only offerings), the minions of scarlet-clad Soviet psychic, Grigori Morov.  Snuffling for subversives we have his Grunts, and behind Morov we have his augmented gorilla (Humanzee?) sidekick and a Mutoid waving a tentcle.  Quite.

In all, there's about 1000 Ratings worth of Extras, Co-Stars and Stars.  Madness, but to use an apocryphal quote of Comrade Stalin's, "quantity has a quality all of its own"...

Yes.  I really should sort out a camera suitable for these kind of pictures and close-ups...

Shiny...

The plan was to use free time to continue add to the painted Zanzibari force for nineteenth century Africa, and to paint up some more NVA for Vietnam (the VC have been subbing for some time now).

However, ever the megalomaniac, Doc Neodynium came up with a bit of an epic wheeze about a month ago (well, by our paltry standards), and we had our second natter about it yesterday, the main point being whether we could actually complete his grandiose vision, and what we could do to keep on schedule.  Anyway, the Doc is doing all the work at present, so it was a mixture of guilt and inspiration from what he'd built so far that prompted a magpie-like fluttering onto the following models (work in progress shots, unfortunately)...

Hm.  What in 7TV requires figures like these?

...it was always difficult for the Hunter/Killers when they bumped into embarrassing old Uncle K1...

...with Federation Security and redshirts in front of him, "Grief" Travers felt quite safe from harm...

Umm...hello again/Wotta Lotta Lard

Hm.  Quite.  Let's cut to the chase.

Life got jolly busy all round, and I naturally invoked the annual "forget/not get around to updating the blog" clause."

However, let's look at what I have been up to gamingwise over the last eighteen or so week:  The 7TV campaign came to a successful conclusion, with the S.P.A.C.E. Man emerging as the victorious TV series, and the whole affair being wrapped up in a six-player game set around an expanded version of club member Overlord's superb volcano-rocketbase lair that you may well have see in action at the 7TV/Crooked Dice stand at Salute 2011 (let's not dwell on the fact that my entire cast- admittedly four figures- were wiped out by the end of turn two).

It was then all hands to the pumps for our (Abingdon Wargames Club) own show, Overlord 2012 (the coordinator of which is naturally club member Overlord).  We enjoyed a well-deserv'd curry after setting up on the Saturday, enjoyed our highest footfall for over a decade on the Sunday itself, which was fantastic, and we managed to raise about £265 for this year's chosen charity.  I put on a participation game of Charlie Don't Surf on behalf of the club and that seemed to get a good reception; or, at least, the author of the rules commented favourably on the kit being used...

Many more games of Charlie were to be had, as we were also due to run it at Salute 2012; the first time we've actually run a participation game at Salute (although no doubt a club member is emailing a correction to me even as I type).  Other than dashing off to pick up some scenery/figures for 7TV from our chums at Crooked Dice and Ainsty (as well as some M113s for Charlie from Peter Pig), I saw nothing of the show, but the rest of the club seemed to have suffered no pain in piling into a minibus and having a gander around.  I can also use this forum to publicly acknowledge the sterling support of my fellow-conspirators Doc Neodynium and Mr. Smallridge in running the game and fielding public interest.  Thanks again, chaps, and not least for the Leninade and wooly Cthulhu.  It was also rather jolly to have an all-too brief few words with various members of the Too Fat Lardies Yahoo group who swung by.

With Salute out of the way, it might be thought my copy of the Charlie Don't Surf rules could get a rest (they're on the verge of collapsing through ungentle over-use).  However Overlord had cunningly booked us a table at Campaign 2012, hosted by the wargaming chaps of Milton Keynes this Saturday past.  Out came Charlie again, and again it seemed to be enjoyed by the wargamers AND non-wargamers who had a crack at it.  Lovely stuff.

In case you believe none of the above, I shall attempt to put a photos up to prove otherwise, if I get a moment.

Now, as my Rabbi- Mr. Burns- oft says, "the best-laid plans of mice and men aft gae googly" or some such.  Nevertheless, what are the gaming intentions for the immediate future?  

Well, various Darkest Africa games are taking place in preparation for a club campaign based around the same.  I've gone for Zanzibaris, on the grounds they're the only non-colonial force I actually can field in strength.  They are looking somewhat Persil in their white robes at present, but a good dose of Magic Wash should sort 'em out.  Counting chickens before they've hatched, there's a subsequent plan to bring A Very British Civil War to Oxfordshire- or North Berkshire, as it would have been back in '38.    This will possibly involve me recycling my Darkest Africa Brits as part of JOSHUA Force...

In both cases, the rules proposed are distinctly Lard-light.  In fact, I found it very difficult to get my head around the rules after my Lard-rich gaming.  However, I'm looking on this as a chance to focus on the painting/building side of things, so hopefully later in the year I can Lardify another element of my gaming.  At the very least, I might have a crack at some river terrain and Brown water units for Charlie, or have do a bit more work on my Bag The Hun Battle of Britain forces, or sort out some mounted assets for They Don't Like It Up 'Em, or...let's be honest, I've about as much focus as a monkey with the keys to three different banananana plantations.

Ah, almost forgot.  I've discovered a British-made chorizo.  Patriotic porky perfection.

7TV: Chien-Jour après-midi, parte deux...

It's not surprising that, off-screen, both the Man from F.R.A.N.C.E. and Riot Squad: In Color! have finally incurred the wrath* of Mary Whitehorse and her National Viewers and Snoopers Association.

Mind you, when you consider what's been happening to the various dogs fielded by SpyForce UK, it is surprising that pet shops are still willing to sell livestock to its production team.

*In game-speak, both casts suffer a reduced ability to hit their targets during their next game.

7TV Campaign: "Now You See Them- Now You Don't!"

Courtesy of Doc Neodynium!

Flush from beating SpyForce UK into a comatose state, the boys of Riot Squad- In Color! thought it'd be a breeze, taking down Yankee upstart, The S.P.A.C.E. Man.

They thought wrong.

Riot Squad- In Color! versus The S.P.A.C.E. Man

Prologue

VOSTOK hatch a plan to feed the British with false intelligence regarding a known terrorist who is in fact famed rocket scientist and moon rocket designer  Werner von Broon (clearly the son of a German mother and Geordie father). The British send in Riot Squad to obtain the scientist for questioning. With international relations at stake. S.P.A.C.E are called in to stop the identity of Von Braun being divulged.

VOSTOK provide Riot Squad with details of S.P.A.C.E’s location and even mix up the equipment of the two forces.

Action!

The future for S.P.A.C.E looks bleak as Atlas and Redstone are set upon by the British coppers. But new recruit Matt Juno proves his worth in distracting the Riot Squad, allowing Redstone and Atlas to back off and use their deadly ranged weaponry. In the end Riot Squad flee without divulging the nature of the “terrorist”. America saves face and its all thanks to Redstone and co.

Production

As the show had several controversies regarding extras at this point it was decided to scale back the episode to just include the key stars. The TITAN suit was not functioning delaying its screen debut. Mark Hamill also made his staring debut as Matt Juno but in a less preachy role than before. In fact, the whole episode was much more action based, a reaction to the criticism of the first episode.

The episode still courted controversy with scenes of Von Broon, although these were kept to a minimum. The level of violence, whilst okay for an American audience, caused a censorship outcry in Britain where it was aired as a Riot Squad episode.

This episode was the first to feature the Astrovan prop, although not as a working vehicle but as a simple static prop. The reaction from the public resulted in a British sponsorship deal with Ready Brek, which in turn provided the funding for an actual working Astrovan stunt vehicle for future episodes. 

Trivia

The design of the Astrovan was heavily *kof* influenced *kof* by the Gerry Anderson series UFO.

The Special effects employed for the disintegrator weapons were subsequently used by Ready Brek in their adverts.

7TV Campaign: Dog-Day Afternoon...

"You've the initiative, SpyForce UK."

"Humph.  Fine.  In that case, we burn all our first actions to open the landrover's bloody windows so we can get out."

SpyForce UK versus Riot Squad: In Color!

Prologue
This week's broadcast saw things take a decidedly more adult turn (although that was nothing to do with SpyForce UK's fur-clad researcher; apparently the actress portraying her had an audition with the RSC...).  Things would be decidely more violent than last time.  It would also appear that both sides were being manipulated by forces beyond their ken.  For their part, SpyForce UK believed they were racing to recover the pilot of a downed experimental aircraft, vefore he could be abducted by the agents of a foreign power.  By contrast, Riot Squad had been told they needed to locate a supergrass.  He'd attempted to flee the country by 'plane, but sabotage meant he'd been forced to earth; he had to be found before his somewhat narked Firm turned up to teach him a lesson. 

There was clearly some kind of mix-up between the various props and set crew before filming began (which the SpyForce cast took to be a continuation of a mysterious run of bad luck that has cursed their production).  In short, the SpyForce UK Landrover found itself sandwiched between two cargo containers, totally unable to move, much to the frustraion of its driver, Private Wheeler.    

Action!
As such, SpyForce UK spent their first turn extricating themselves from the now immobilised landrover via its windows and doors.  They were not amused with this start to their search.  In the meantime, some of the members of Riot Squad began to sweep the abandoned industrial landscape for their quarry, whilst thew rest of team waited in their trusty- and mobile- van.

Soon both teams were combing the area, and it was SpyForce UK's Major Erskine who successfully ran their man to ground.  In part, they had overcome their initial slow start by Private Harris releasing Wolfgang, SpyForce UK's mascot and sniffer dog.  Clearly Wolfgang was peckish, as he went for the throat of the nearest Riot Squad member, who now abandoned all thoughts of the manhunt.   

By now, both casts chose to indulge in a spot of the old ultra-violence.  Small-arms were employed against Riot Squad, but it would appear SpyForce's quartermaster had erred, for the effectiveness of the fire suggested blanks were being used.  For their part, Riot Squad found that SpyForce UK's squaddies were susceptible to being bludgeoned with truncheons; this was of little comfort to the constable who had had his trachea enthusiastically removed by Wolfgang.

However, numbers finally took their toll and the out-numbered members of SpyForce UK were stunned and dragged off by Riot Squad, who took custody of the fugitive both sides had sought.  Luckily, the Old Boys network was able to intervene before Erskine did a spell in the Scrubs.

Production
Behind the scenes, more amusing shenanigans occurred when it transpired that SpyForce UK's production team- or to be precise, the accountant- had lost £10,000 on the dogs.  Cries of "But Arfur Nightly said it was a sure thing!" fell on deaf ears.

 

By contrast, Lady Luck still had an eye for the other chaps in uniform, as Riot Squad: In Color! bagged yet another Benny award.  Rumour has it that, just like some of their real life counterparts, Riot Squad's producers have contacts who are all square and on the level...

Back in the real world...
The sharp-eyed may have noticed a limited number of sets- Rural and Industrial.  Taking inspiration from the shows that inspired 7TV, *kofclassicdoctorwhokof* it's clear that this is because those very shows had only a limited number of sets themselves...  

7TV Campaign: Across The Pond...

Just time before nipping off to tonight's instalment of the 7TV campaign to bring you SpyForce UK's version of the events that transpired on 25th November.  Over to you, Major...

As the producers of SPYFORCE UK had promised, it did not show them as superhuman or always victorious. A reduced cast were seen in the first episode: Major John Erskine MC (SPYFORCE UK's leader, the programme's focus), Jill Steward (lovely in her Viking re-enactment clothes), Mike French (Technician and boffin) and finally Private Wheeler (their driver with his trusty Landrover).

 

SPYFORCE UK was up against a crafty and nefarious group led by the S.P.A.C.E Man, made up of various American renegades and possible Soviet Spymasters plus robots.

As in any adventure, luck played a major part. In this episode all the luck went with the S.P.A.C.E Man.  Nefarious VOSTOK had stolen a C-130 containing parts of a new third stage booster vital to NASA’s Mars Mission. Whilst the plane had been forced down it had managed to dump its cargo of parts and technical reports across an abandoned industrial complex in Florida. Both the S.P.A.C.E Man team and SPYFORCE UK raced to the location. As luck had it, the S.P.A.C.E Man was nearer and able to create a cordon around the industrial complex. SPYFORCE UK which had been stationed in Belize took longer to reach the industrial complex. Although they had their trusty Landrover, the S.P.A.C.E Man had managed to quickly secure two parts and its associated paperwork.

Whilst Major John Erskine made a rush to gain one part, the S.P.A.C.E Man group infilitrated and stole the part before Erskine could get there.  All was not lost as Jill Steward dived out of the Landrover and snatched another component elsewhere. After successfully obtaining yet another part, John Erskine and Private Wheeler fell into a chemical tank which luckily only had dirty water in it.  This distraction left the route open for John RedStone to race for and leap over a fence to secure the final piece.  

After the show had finished it was possible to see the implications of the first episode and to learn the necessary lessons to improve. Despite the episode ending with the US team victorious, SPYFORCE UK was seen to be “riding a crest of a wave” and hopes are high that ratings will soar after the next episode is broadcast.  SPYFORCE UK earned enough production kudos to gain MOD assistance with extras, precise details of which will be revealed in future episodes!

7TV Campaign: Jimmy Albion's...Grave Mistake

(Finally, the report of my own game on Friday, which is woefully inadequate compared to the others!)

Jimmy Albion & The Nuneaton Ninja versus The Man From F.R.A.N.C.E.

Prologue:  
Strange signals have been detected in the vicinity of a site containing both an old graveyard and a considerably older stone circle (location shooting at Avebury didn't threaten the budget too much).  Unbeknownst to each other, rival agencies have been despatched to investigate, and bring back intelligence...

"Don't go into the graveyard, Jimmy; it'll be the death of you..."

Action!
Erm...well...that'd be a lie.  Despite the snap-shooting of OSS 118, The Man From F.R.A.N.C.E., this also proved to be another short, sweet and bloodless game (a good thing too, as my opponent, Mr T- no, not that one- had but a scant 90 minutes to spend at the club).  

Essentially, Mr T's Jimmy and his Ninja chums retained the initiative, bounding merrily around the countryside snaffling up objective markers like they were sweets (which, to be fair, they were; given 7TV's 70s globetrotting, international roots, Ferrero Rocher were the only option).

By comparison, OSS 118 was very much on his own.  Van Der Stroell's cameo role meant he was never going to be seen on camera until the start of turn four, and instead of the dependable Ms. Betouche, OSS 118's eye candy in this episode was the ditzy Marie-Chantal.  Resigned to having to do all the work himself *again*, OSS 118 administered an adrenaline shot to himself and managed to pick up two markers (he can't 'alf shift it when he wants to).  Another marker was also picked up by Marie Chantal who- bless her!- had wandered into the crypt looking for somewhere to fix her hair.  This would never have happened if the pragmatic Ms. Betouche had been on the case.

Realising there was no point now hanging around, OSS 118 began to withdraw, but his attention was drawn to a distinctive white tuxedo shining in the gloom from behind a nearby hedge.  A snap shot was sent in the direction of Jimmy Albion (for 'twas he) but the cowardly rosbif was wearing body armour!  At this point, it was time for an ad break....

As was stated at the start, short and sweet indeed.

Production

Well, both shows managed to recoup their expenses, but diverged wildly after that!  Industrial action somehow spread from the S.P.A.C.E. backlot to that of the F.R.A.N.C.E. production team (perhaps it's something to do with all the acronyms attracting the unions?) with actor Harry Vorster (who portrayed Van der Stroell) striking in sympathy.  Luckily the production team pulled a "Darryl" and simply replaced Vorster with Bazza Flosster, albeit at some cost.

By comparison, Sydney Barron- or at least someone close to him- must have taken a close interest in Jimmy Albion et al, as it looks like Department X star Pandora King (Yes! The Pandora King!) is going to be making a cameo appearance in a future episode.  Lucky blighter!

Back in the real world...
The next scheduled broadcast of these fine 7TV shows is due to be Friday 9th December.  Stay tuned!

7TV Campaign: Into The Breach

(With thanks to Doc Neodynium for this excellent write-up)


The Man From S.P.A.C.E. versus Spy Force UK

S.P.A.C.E. Men: Soldier, Redstone, Technician (foreground), Atlas (background), Soldier AND T.I.T.A.N.

Spy Force UK: Major Erskine, Landrover with Driver (background), Jill Steward and Technician

The nefarious VOSTOK had stolen a C-130 containing parts of a new upper stage booster vital to a NASA Mars mission. Luckily they were forced down but not before dumping the cargo. Fortunately S.P.A.C.E. was nearby and raced to the scene.  With T.I.T.A.N. unavailable due to “technical issues”, it fell to John Redstone and Franz Atlas to save the day.  

Redstone and Atlas infiltrate Spy Force UK's deployment zone

British organisation Spy Force UK, led by Colonel Cato, were also attempting to secure the booster, ostensibly on behalf of their US allies, but also to have the opportunity of taking a look for themselves.

A cordon was created around the industrial site and two components were quickly secured by S.P.A.C.E..  Redstone then managed to power-run from shadow to shadow to rescue a third. 

Redstone makes a break for the fence whilst Spy Force UK are distracted

Realising they were losing the initiative to the Americans, Spyforce UK's landrover  breached the cordon, from whence a mysterious fur clad woman dived out to take one of the components. Meanwhile Cato and his driver also debussed and took an apparent short cut around what appeared to be some kind of vat containing a  (thankfully harmless) chemical in order to retrieve another booster component,  but disaster struck as both slipped in! 

"I'd love to help you out, Major, but it'd ruin my anorak..."

Erskine and his driver swim for it, whilst Redstone looks smugly on

While they were swum for the edge, Atlas tried to take aim at the driver but his conscience stopped him from firing.  Meanwhile John leapt over a fence in a single bound to secure the final component.  With the majority of the booster secure in US hands, and US reinforcements drawing closer,  Spy Force UK withdrew. Victory was S.P.A.C.E.’s and without a shot fired (just)!

Production
The episode was filmed in an abandoned industrial complex. While considered a ratings success, the show was marred with several major flaws. In the original cut, there was a scene in which an unnamed technician played by Mark Bacomill grabbed a component of the booster and run behind a crate. NASA, who thought the episode would run too short, introduced a scene where this same technician met a wandering boy and explained the importance of space. Bacomill's performance convinced the show’s writers to expand the role, and technician Matt Juno was born, a blond farm boy who had studied hard to get a job in NASA. The increased pay for Bacomill (for what was seen as corny acting by other extras playing soldiers) resulted in extras walking off the production. This increased costs for the next episode, though one additional extra was hired.

Character Update
Matt Juno (played by Mark Bacomill)
DOB: 25/09/1951     Height: 5’7     Weight: 160lb     Gender: Male
Affiliation:  NASA     Rank: Level 3 Tech     From: Concord, California

Raised on a farm in Concord, Matthew Luke Juno was a normal American kid with a dream, a dream to be a scientist.  Despite a humble upbringing, he studied hard and never got into trouble, managing to gain a scholarship at Yale.  As part of his course he was transferred to Whitesands as a contractor to work on T.I.T.A.N, then on to Cape Canaveral to assist R.I.S.T. and Dr Atlas. When T.I.T.A.N was transferred to S.P.A.C.E., it made sense for Juno to be transferred in, given his technical knowledge of both John Redstone and T.I.T.A.N..

Trivia:  The urban myth that the malfunctioning booster's sound effect was ripped from Lou Reed’s experimental track “Metal Machine Music Part 2” is just that: a myth. Whilst similar, this episode aired three years before Reed’s track was randomly generated.

Trivia: One of the extras who left was a young Lorrie Fishbone who later described the show as “worthless propaganda”.

7TV Campaign: Desert Dust-UP

(With thanks to Overlord for this excellent write-up)

The Darke versus Riot Squad- In Color!

Parts of a ARC (Albion Rocket Consortium) satellite have fallen to Earth and been scattered across a small, remote desert town.  Riot Squad, training local police in public order, have been dispatched as the nearest available representatives of HM Government to retrieve the vital pieces. 

The unplanned satellite re-entry has not gone un-noticed by Lazarus Darke, who decides to personally lead a team to recover the components, convinced they will yield important data to aid his ultimate goal.

Prologue:

The Director decided that the set was a bit too cluttered for the sweeping camera shots he wanted, so a couple of minor scenery items were cleared (Darke Event: Sparse Location).

Feature:

RAS-AL-BOWRAJ, EXTERIOR

The Darke won the roll and selected a table edge, chiefly deploying in two main groups, each led by Lazarus and Black.  NERO kept a solitary watch.  The Riot Squad formed up in a close formation, clearly expecting trouble in the narrow middle-eastern streets.

The Riot Squad took the initiative and moved forward as a group.  Their Marksman peeled off into a compound towards the first component, and a suitable hide.

Konrad Black moved forward then used his Grapple Gun gadget to sweep up onto a rooftop and recover the first item.  Lazarus commanded a Knight to secure a second component before BLINC*-ing, teleporting himself to a third part of the satellite in the distance.

The cops retained the initiative, with the marksman retrieving their first component before going to ground in a building.  The Squad proceeded in an orderly manner, picking up a second component and sealing off the street.

The Darke held their position apart from a solitary Knight who dashed across the street, in full view of the Police line, to the final satellite remnant.

Epilogue:

A rather low key episode, with each side only vaguely aware of the other. The Darke recovered 4 components, greatly assisted by Lazarus’ teleport SFX.  Points totals were 14 and 7 for each side, giving The Darke 2VP and the Riot Squad 1VP.  Canny use of their Think Tank meant The Riot Squad gained a second VP for deploying a Miniature Camera; 2 all!  However, Lazarus stole a minor victory with an extra 1VP for his Most Wanted SFX.

Ratings War:

With no casualties in the episode the behind the scenes campaign aspect was quickly resolved.  The audience were obviously impressed with the cool control of the Squad in the searing heat (of arc-lights on the gravel pit OB location), winning them a ‘Benny’.  The Riot Squad gained a 10PP bonus for fielding a slightly smaller cast than the Darke and spent only some of their gains on extra event cards for the next episode. 

The Darke studios suffered a mysterious fire, halving the proposed production budget, which halted work on the ground-breaking SFX planned for the next episode.  Its producers decided to improve Lazarus' Alien Pistol marksmanship to a 4+ (10PP), increase Black’s INT to a vaguely cognisant 3 (3PP) and add a female Administrator to the all male cast (8PP). 

* Bi-Locational Inter-spacial Nexus Connector

The Highlights Of This Winter's Television...

The 7TV campaign finally kicked off tonight at Abingdon Wargames Club.  Stiff upper lipped SpyForce UK squared off against the brash American S.P.A.C.E Man, Jimmy Albion and the Nuneaton Ninja crossed paths with the Man from F.R.A.N.C.E. once more and finally the Darke descended upon Riot Squad- In Color!

I'm awaiting critics reviews of the three episodes that were broadcast tonight, and will revise/edit this post as production stills and critics' copy arrives on the desk...

Nothing is Sirte-an...

No Bloody Picnic try out on Friday night; entirely my fault as my brain broke over the week and I couldn't assimilate the rules.  Sorry, Dillon!

As such, I ran a game of Peter Pig's Squarebashing (of which there may be a new version in the future) for four of the chaps, set in August 1914, each pair sharing a division apiece; continuing the confessionals, the Hun forces were barely undercoated, let alone base coated.

There appears to be an oasis ahead, sir...

As a result of German pre-game decisions and some significantly worse-than-average German dice rolling, a distinctly under-strength German division was to fend off a full-strength British Division's advance.  The British gained a clear victory, driving through to the enemy baseline.  Whilst this was not necessarily a foregone conclusion, a major factor was the German decision to split their limited force between the flanks of the deployment zone, leaving the centre entirely clear.  This caught most of us by surprise, including myself, and I'm not the sharpest tool in the box.  Even then, the British still ensured that their assaults were well supported, as opposed to the penny-packet attacks of the Germans.  

The German players didn't mind losing too much (after all, it's what eventually happened in 1918).  The British were quite pleased- they were up against a game countdown, and managed to sneak in under both that and real-time constraints.  Given the fact it was an early war game, and at divisional level, it was felt the level of abstraction found in Squarebashing was appropriate- the difference made to assaults by rear and flank support was also noted in particular.  

There was more gaming today as it was Club Sunday.  This time we had an excellent trio of linked Force On Force scenarios set in Libya, based around the search for a recently deceased North African leader's son...our referee having created a very topical day for us!  It's been the first time in a long while where I've had to number crunch modifiers, and the noggin is still hurting, but it was well worth the effort.  I 'got' the idea that different die types represent different levels of training, morale etc, and we also quite liked the Stress mechanism that was used across the three scenarios.  As for the results, our NTC forces managed to whizz along a dried wadi to reach our destination with the loss of one technical (scenario 1),  eliminated an urban enemy HQ en-route (scenario 2) but fell at the last hurdle!  Whilst a fog of war card meant that our target was inadvertantly revealed due to some media types interviewing him, NTC forces were unable to get into the compound or eliminate the attached squads of bodyguards.  To compound this, a friendly special forces team that might have snatched our target was blown out of the sky by an AA missile.  Curses.  As a result, our victory point ratio dropped from 5:1 to 3:1.  Nevertheless, an excellent day's gaming.

Next Friday sees a return to the 7TV campaign , as various shows- Spyforce UK and The Man From S.P.A.C.E., for example- vie for audience ratings, and Saturday should see a visit to the Warfare show in Reading...

From one extreme to another...

Here at Abingdon Wargames Club, we try to have a campaign or two run over the winter months to get club members into something a bit different and playing against folks they might not normally meet over the gaming table.   There's a Warhammer Fantasy battle campaign this season, and I'm helping to run a 7TV campaign.  

Tonight therefore saw some of the 7TV participants draw up their casts.  So far we have "The S.P.A.C.E. Man" and two from as-yet-untitled series, one a 1960s pastiche of Torchwood and the other based around a bunch of London coppers.  A couple of other players unable to make tonight just need to get up speed, and then the first games will take place on Friday 18th November. 

We then got in two games of Pandemic (failing to halt the advance of the diseases both times) and finished with a quick and very amusing game of Worm Up.  All dice-free.

I swear I've got withdrawal symptoms already.

It's Aliiiiiiiive....

..clearly the weekend before Hallowe'en is an auspicious time for digital Necromancy.

Glossing over the extended hiatus in a few words in no particular order (domestic building project, China, technical gubbins and work), it might be asked why the Tao of Lard has revived now?

Here's the answer:

The tenth anniversary edition of I Ain't Been Shot Mum! I first bought IABSM about six years ago, even though there wasn't any WWII kit in the lead pile, and browbeat various club ne'er-do-wells into letting me use their kit to try out IABSM.  The rules were/are thoroughly enjoyable, and (to my limited mind) are positioned perfectly to marry historical simulation with entertaining games (even if there are some who treat those concepts as mutually exclusive; Yesthatphil and toofatlardies amongst others challenge the "It's only a game" mentality in this TMP discussion).

This was my introduction to the world of Lard, and since then Charlie Don't Surf, They Don't Like It Up 'Em, Algy (currently being revised) and Bag The Hun have been bought and- most importantly- played.  To be fair, other Lardy goodness has also been bought but only read.  So far. 

Too Fat Lardies have gone for broke with this release, providing all one could need to play IABSM (assuming you already own the necessary toy soldiers) in a variety of bundles.  Here's what was in the preorder bundle, alongside the softback rulebook and a PDF copy of said rules:

At the back of this poor quality photo you can see three examples of the IABSM card deck available (104 cards, enough to field two infantry companies, five armour platoons, eight Big Men, three off-table support units for the Allies and again for the Axis, as well as all the bonus characteristic cards).  In the foreground are the IABSM tokens also now available.  From left to right:

• Low ammo marker
• Artillery aiming point marker (which came in handy for the Free World in last night's game of Charlie Don't Surf)
• Pinned marker (likewise for these; two on a squad indicate that it is suppressed)
• Reduced Actions marker (you might be able to make out the wee 1 on it)
• Lieutenant Hugh Jarce! (Limited edition figure; not sure if he's still available from TFL.  He'll probably end up in my 7TV games as a "Mad Mitch" sort of chap)
• AFV Reduced Movement/Immobilised markers (the green and red spanners respectively)
• AFV Main Weapon Damaged/Out Of Action markers (the green and red targeting pieces respectively)

I've already begun hawking the rules around to try and persuade others that they really want to give IABSM a try, but without solely relying on their kit.  I'm sure they'll come round to my way of thinking after they play a few games, not just one.  By now, the Lead Pile contains some 15mm Early WWII British from Peter Pig, so I've begun to have a crack at them.

Of course, whether I continue to make progress is another thing, particularly when I've also got these chaps vying for attention at the other end of the desk...

A rather large quantity of Peter Pig's Late WWI Germans (luckily all the British are done).  Even before the arrival of IABSM, I'd been poring over my copy of Through The Mud & The Blood, also from TFL.   I'd been lucky enough to spend some time around Albert and Arras in France recently, helping my folks with their ongoing family history project, and spending a few days retracing my great grandfather's steps during the Battle of the Somme and ultimately his death in 1917 at the Battle of Arras rekindled my interest in WWI, and my thoughts turned to the various TFL WWI rules like Mud & Blood, If The Lord Spares Us, as well as others to be found in various Lard Winter ans Summer Specials.    

However, IABSM arrived and my train of thought was redirected...

It's like I've never been away.

Resolving to be unresolved...

So, with plenty of snow over the last fortnight, attendance at AWC has been lower than might be expected. Nevertheless, the Sunday Dr Who game saw Overlord and New Andrew pit wits over four games each, each with very different but always plausible* results.  The two final AWC meetings of 2010 saw an evening of Pandemic (I was too knackered/full of head cold to sort out something myself, and Mr. Manning kindly proffered an empty seat to his game) and then an evening of Flintloque.  New Andrew had recently expressed an interest in trying out the rules, and the fortuitous temporary return of Rob Alderman meant we could indulge in a game set in the world of Valon, a Yule/Solstice tradition of ours**.

December saw no other wargaming, amidst the festivities.  A flying visit to Kenilworth and Rob (a budding sculptor of Flintloque/Slaughterloo miniatures, incidentally who has his own blog here) saw him break out various boardgames he'd owned for a long time but had yet to play.  One was Bugman's Bar Brawl or some such, and the other was War On Terror.  All good fun (I hesitate to say clean, given the content of both...).  As for New Year's Eve, a posse of workmates came over for a Western-themed murder mystery party, and no-one seemed to suffer any pain as a result (except the murder victim of course, and those foolish enough to over indulge in both grain and grape).

However, most importantly the last two weeks has seen my 15mm US Company for Vietnam games completed! Three platoons plus four MG squads, or 128 figures.  No excuses for me not to roll out Charlie Don't Surf  at AWC, particularly as it may offer a nice alternative for any members not involved in the WH40k campaign being set up (16 AWC members have signed up for this, which is being organised by Wily Nick).

So, a New Year and the knotty issue of resolutions.  I've never been any good with these, so instead here are some aims:

• Get some pictures on here.
• Be in a position to copy this brilliant idea by December 31st, 2011...
• Finish my 15mm WWI late war Brits for Squarebashing by November
• Finish my 1/600th German Battle of Britain aircraft by May

  Have all my Vietnam kit ready for a CDS game at Overlord 2011 (failure is not an option; the committee'll kill me otherwise).
• Paint some 28mm stuff, anything really- didn't touch any of the 28mm lead pile in 2010.
• Pick a period in the Lead pile that will distract me from completing one/some/all of the above...

As for pig-product, I received my share of the ridiculously oversized Christmas ham prepared by my folks, whilst some barbecue glazed mini pork sausages complemented the Murder Mystery's sippin' whiskey.

*Yes, I know we're dealing with Dr Who here. 

**At least, Rob and I consider it a tradition long-standing since 2009.  Let me know when it's appropriate to define something as traditional.

It is the end but the moment has been prepared for...

Term has ended, so my US company for Charlie Don't Surf has been arrayed on the worktop and is ready for two week's worth of attention, barring Christmas festivities and so forth.  As ever, the good intentions are based around getting one stage of painting done per day, so ideally these should be done and dusted soonish in plenty of time for Overlord 2011.

In the meantime, it's Club Sunday tomorrow.  Checklist time:

• Dr Who Miniature Game rules?  Check.
• Various Daleks, Robomen and Human Resistance miniatures?  Check.
• Dalek Invasion Of Earth 2150AD tournament scenario?  Check.
• Prizes?  Check.
• Inordinate quantity of snow?  Most definitely check...

 As for dinner, that ham hock in the larder definitely has possibilities.

What The H**l Just Happened?

Sweet Mother of Invention, where does the time go?  In the case of the day job, that's easily answered by Y11 and Y10 controlled assessments, and the marking of said assessments.  So...I've been bad at updates.

News in brief therefore:  The VC company are all painted (and rebased where necessary) now, for Charlie Don't Surf and Men of Company B.  I've foolishly offered this as the club game at our show Overlord (10am onwards at FitzHarrys School, Abingdon, Oxon, Sunday March 6th, 2011).  To be perfectly honest, hopefully it'll serve as some reasonable eye-candy to draw in some punters who can be brainwashed persuaded into joining Abingdon Wargames Club.  Another bout of jungle terrain building has thus been embarked upon, thanks to a timely and generous resupply of plastic palm trees (Thanks to Overlord, nom d'email of a fellow AWC member who happens to organise our show; yes, he's Overlord, the Overlord overlord...).  Now to pick a suitable scenario from Surf's Up and get in some more practice games.

Popped to Warfare.  First time as a punter, having usually gone to the show with a participation game.  Stocked up on essentials (paints, brushes), a couple of Kaiser Rushforth storage cases and some Skytrex goodies.  My Google-Fu failed me in the search for a Vietnam-era combat 'dozer, so I've commited heresy and will substitute a British WWII era 'dozer whilst the search continues... 

Got in a playtest of 7TV, the latest wheeze from the suave criminal geniuses behind the Dr Who Miniatures Game.  Jolly good fun- it may have been unrealistic, but as a simulation of cult TV like the Avengers,  Adam Adamant and the Man from UNCLE, it was on the button.  Having Doktor Zermitz wave an ineffectual fist in the last turn as agent Bonaparte Singleton escaped via jet-pack gadget was the icing on the cake!

Obligatory pig-product references- a rather nice chilli using chunks of pig cheek, a chorizo and chestnut soup (just as it snows, too) and naturally pork scratchings at the recent committee meeting. 

Plus some Haggis on St. Andrews Day.